Just the two of us – the case for a wedding party of zero.

**Disclaimer: I know our thoughts on the matter can come across a little harsh, but keep in mind that we want a small wedding, and I never once dreamed of my wedding as a child. We are in no way condemning or passing judgement on those who do things differently.  We simply want to represent that there are other ways to do things, and that that’s ok. Going against the grain with weddings these days causes people to act like you are a crazy old miser. **

 

Perhaps the most apparent diversion from the typical wedding, is the size of our wedding party.

We are not having attendants. No bride’s maids, no groom’s men, flower girls or ring bearers.

There are several reasons for this. First and foremost, we don’t understand what role attendants actually play in a modern wedding, other than unpaid assistants. Somewhere along the way, they were added for specific reasons, but our culture doesn’t have the need any more.  Sometimes they served as body-doubles,  or partners-in-crime. Once upon a time, a bride’s consent wasn’t necessary or even asked for, so the groom would just kidnap her. Sometimes it was all in good fun, other times, it was just plain kidnapping and rape. Charming, huh? Thank goodness we’ve come so far. A quick rundown of the history of wedding traditions can be found here.

We don’t want to be forced to choose just a few people to stand by our sides, when we have so many that we care about. Historical roles aside, attendants aren’t something that we feel we actually need. We want all of our loved ones there, and we just can’t bear the idea of needing to pick some people over others. It’s just one day, and we don’t need them to do anything for us, other than celebrate with us.

We also don’t have the funds to fully equip everyone, and we just don’t want to ask people to put so much money into doing something for us. Being in a wedding is expensive. The outfit, shoes, hair, and sometimes, accommodations, travel and time off from work can all add up very quickly. I have heard that the average spent for women to be in a wedding is well over $1000. If we don’t feel the express need for attendants, it seems like abuse to ask people we care about to spend so much money.